It seems like ever since I was diagnosed, my whole life revolves around the fact that I have lymphoma.
Which, like, it kind of does, and all, but it is still super dumb.
It's really difficult to forget about how hard cancer is when every conversation and interaction is focused on my lymphoma. Like, really, really, difficult. It's like, I'll be doing totally fine, loving life, laughing at my middle schoolers, and then someone gets that tone in their voice and brings up cancer. And then it just comes rushing back. I have cancer.
I'm not saying we shouldn't talk about it or you should be afraid to ask me about it - that's not it at all. The concern and love and outreach of people is what keeps me from giving up and staying in the bathtub all day every day. I'm only half joking about the bathtub thing. But sometimes, I just want to be Tina, not Tina with cancer. I just want to be an overwhelmed teacher, not an overwhelmed teacher with cancer.
I made a list of things I like about myself that have nothing to do with cancer, and it made me so happy. It helped me remember what my core is and who I will still be after I kick this lymphoma to the curb.
1. BLT's will always be my favorite meal. Only without the lettuce because lettuce only takes away from the bacon, amiright?!?
2. I break and lose sunglasses like it's my job. It's a problem.
3. I bend my feet in a weird way when I'm sitting and so the middle of my shoes always wears out/gets holes in it and Michelle makes me buy new shoes.
4. Burning my feet on the sidewalk as I walk barefoot is one of the best feelings in the world.
5. I have very small, cute teeth. Like a baby dolphin.
6. I only really like talking on the phone if I'm outside.
7. Every time I am on an airplane I will order ginger ale because it tastes better in the sky.
8. I love everything sparkly or gold or shiny.
9. My bed is my favorite place in the house. Closely followed by the living room floor.
10. I love puzzles because everything fits in its perfect little place to make something beautiful.
11. I'm terrible at soccer. Like, run up to the ball super confident and then miss the kick and land on my butt kind of terrible. But it's fun. For the spectators.
12. I don't really like animated movies. Except The Land Before Time is the best series ever made. Up until number 6. (What is this junk about Little Foot finding his father in the later movies?!? His father can't just waltz up in here and pretend he didn't miss
13. One day I'm going to look out from the Eiffel Tower at Paris and laugh.
14. Sometimes potty jokes make me laugh. Okay, most of the time.
15. Staying in hotels is a legitimate thrill. I love it sooooooooo much.
That's all. Just a little reminder that Tina without cancer is still in here, alive and well. :)
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