Wiggity Wig

I finally bought a wig!

This was a pretty big deal for me. I had planned on buying a brightly colored wig right away and having it as soon as we shaved my head, but I just couldn't do it. I knew I didn't want a realistic wig, and a bright one sounded fun, but... something was keeping me from actually going through with it.

I would scroll through Etsy and other sites looking at wigs and I picked out some that I really liked. I would visit the webpages almost every day and just look at the wigs. Sometimes I even started the checkout process...but then every. single. time. I would get physically sick to my stomach. I still don't know why - maybe it was just staring at the fact that I have no hair. I don't know. But it was hard.

What finally made me take the plunge was something bizarre and small. I was scrolling through Facebook and I ended up looking at my old pictures. In each picture it was like I could only see my hair. Blonde hair, brown hair, almost black hair, accidentally kind of red hair, multicolored hair, hair with bangs, hair with no bangs, long hair, short hair, layered hair, straight hair, curly hair.... I think this is the part where I admit I have a problem with changing my hair. One of my roommates called it my "three month addiction" where every three months I just had to change something about my hair. She's not wrong. Once, I created straight across bangs with kiddy scissors while my roommates were at the store cause I needed a change. Yikes. Good thing I'm so darn good looking that I can pull it off.

Anyway, I was looking at all of my different hairstyles and I was just overcome with a sense of loss and I legitimately mourned my hair. I get that hair isn't the most important thing in the whole world, so stop judging me for being vain, but I just had this heart wrenching moment where it felt like I had lost a best friend. You can laugh at that - but unless you are someone who spends hours styling and playing with and just touching your hair and then you lose it all, you don't understand. It's like I don't even know what to do with my hands sometimes because usually during a movie I would be twisting and combing through my hair, and now I have nothing to hold. I don't know what to orient my makeup around. I had to put away my hair products and brushes and accessories. Whole Pinterest boards of hairstyles mean nothing. I get a sinking feeling when I see hairstyle ideas online. It's freaking hard, dang it, and I promise to never make fun of shiny bald men again. Or like for at least a week.

That longing for something to hold, something to run my fingers through, is what made me buy my first wig. I chose bright blue and medium length - long enough to touch but short enough to be low maintenance! It came last Thursday and I wore it to work Friday. Everyone loved it! But more important than their reactions, I LOVE IT! It felt unbelievably wonderful to reach up and have something there, and to feel beautiful and crazy, and to use a bobby pin to pull hair back from my face. I LOVED readjusting the pins in my hair during lunch and checking my wig in the mirror as I left the restroom and catching a glimpse of my reflection in the window... I almost felt like my old self and that was more than worth the price of the wig. I don't know if I'll buy more wigs, or what they'll look like, but this one is a win! Plus I'm already thinking of Halloween ideas - mermaid, sadness, fun dip powder, a classy smurf... the possibilities are endless.

And now, for your viewing pleasure, my blue wig.