The 26th was my 24th birthday. Normally I am the QUEEN of birthdays. I love love love them. I love celebrating people and life and happiness. This year felt different because I'm going through such hard things that it felt a little silly to be celebrating life while fighting death. I just couldn't get excited about it. My friends and family were all coming up Friday night for a big celebration, and I was just hoping I could make it through the day so I didn't sleep through the party. Thursday night, I prayed and asked the Lord to let me enjoy my birthday even though I didn't feel like it. I went to bed Thursday night feeling so anxious about the next day that I ended up taking an anti-anxiety pill so I could sleep.
From the moment I woke up Friday, I was surrounded and overwhelmed by love. I woke up to birthday texts and phone calls, including some very off key but on point versions of "happy birthday." Michelle decorated our hallway with falling stars and bought me a big stuffed puppy because she's still not budging on the whole "Tina needs a puppy to help with her healing" argument. I had a hard time getting up and getting ready because I just didn't want to, but once I did I was okay. I had to stop at the store before work. While I was wandering around the Walmart, my favorite song played through the store. This seems so little, but it's an obscure song: Lullaby by Shawn Mullins. It NEVER plays! It was a little love note from heaven for me and I felt worlds better.
When I got to school, my students shocked me with so many thoughtful and wonderful gifts and cards and notes. I was overwhelmed. Two of my students bought me a build-a-bear wearing Broncos gear, and they put a beating heart inside of it to remind me to always keep fighting. Cue the tears. These middle schoolers are so wonderful beyond their age. It just keeps surprising me over and over, and I love it. School all day was one of those perfect days you dream about as a teacher. All of my students were perfectly behaved and they participated in my favorite writing activities like champs! After school we had faculty meeting and I got to share a book talk and then talk about my lymphoma for a few minutes. It feels good to just have the news out there and now everyone at work knows.
Michelle and I went over to Brenda's to get ready for the party. We met mom and dad there, and mom made the most perfect Peter Pan/Stitch/Paris cake to represent my favorite things. We had tons of food and treats. So many people I absolutely adore came and spent time with me. It was amazing! I got to catch up with friends I hadn't seen in a while, laugh and have fun with friends I see all the time, and enjoy great conversations with the people I love most. After I made a wish on my cake, I told everyone at the party that I've been looking for my "happy place" that I can focus on when I am having a hard time, and in that moment, I realized that I was in my happy place. For me, the best place is where I am surrounded by the unbelievably wonderful people I get to call my family and friends. I'm blessed beyond belief because I have the strongest, happiest, most thoughtful people around me.
The night of the party we stayed up entirely too late but it was worth it. By the time I went to bed, I had enjoyed a wonderful birthday. Take that, lymphoma. I can party with the best of them no matter how much cancer is inside me.
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