Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I know, I know.
"Tina, you haven't updated your blog in forever!"
"Tina, how am I supposed to know how you are doing?!?"
"Tina, is your blog not working on my phone or have you really not updated it?"

...Whoops. My bad.

Here's an update! The last time I posted I wasn't feeling well at all. My second round of chemo made me a lot more nauseous than the first, and I wasn't expecting that, so it threw me off a little. Really unexpected things made me really sick. Like when my wonderful sister makes Zuppa Toscana soup, which I usually love, and I wake up from my nap and I have to breathe through a towel for the rest of the night so that I don't *ahem* lose my cookies *ahem*. Also, I don't think I'll ever eat ice cream again. Which to some of my friends sounds worse than having cancer...

I felt better at the end of last week, and this week was good. I had a super bad day on Thursday - the worst day I've had yet - and it didn't have much to do with cancer. It was just a no good, terrible, very bad day. But it was mom's birthday!!! I got to come to Provo and celebrate the best lady in the whole universe, so that was an upside.

Friday was the dreaded day of chemo #3. I've started getting a little nervous before my chemo treatment, and I think it's just because my body knows what's coming. A coworker asked me on Friday if I was nervous, and usually I respond with positive thoughts (I know, I know, who knew I was an optimist?!?) but I just squeaked out "I hate it." I hate chemo. And I think that's okay. It's okay to recognize that this isn't fun. It's not all sunshine, but honestly, it hasn't been as bad as I expected.

I had my chemo yesterday, and my white blood cells are super crazy low, so I have to be carazy careful about infection, sickness, and fever. So I love you, but if you are sick, take your junk and get away from me. Thanks, pal. ;)

Yesterday I slept through most of chemo, and they prescribed me some new drugs to help with the nausea. I left feeling better than the first two rounds. I didn't feel as heavy and as weighed down by the chemo drugs. I felt okay last night and I got to go see Ryan's play. It was so fun, except the songs have been stuck in my head all day. "Right before your EYYEESSSS." So thanks for that, Ryan. He rocked it.

Today I feel okay. I'm quite tired, but I got to go to mom's birthday brunch with the neighbors and help a little in the yard before I crashed on the couch for hours. Now I get to watch the cultural celebration for the Provo City Center Temple! I can't think of a better time in my life for a reminder that beauty comes from ashes.